Who am I?

I have a new toy, and am spending far too much time playing on it. It's CyberLink PowerDirector 9  and it is So Much Fun. I love making audio visual thingys for use in church, bringing the words to life. I know that some people are much more visual than others, some prefer to listen, but I like to look at stuff so enjoy producing it. I'm looking forward to getting stuck in. So far though I have had fun creating a video to one of my favourite Casting Crowns songs, Who am I?

Here it is. I am always bowled over by the words in this song, especially the chorus: 'I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapour in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord you catch me when I'm falling, and you've told me who I am - I am yours.' I love that in the midst of a world full of uncertainty and chaos, in the knowledge that our time here is so fleeting, we can experience belonging to God, knowing God catching us when we fall.

Messy Church?

So, we've recently started Messy Church which is around once a month at the moment. But what is it? The Messy Church website gives a description of the concept behind it, but I imagine it varies from place to place. For us we want to bring families together for fun and food with some learning about God stuff flowing through it. Mainly though to build community in our area. One of the feelings that is expressed in our area is concern at lack of community, so how can the church contribute to building it up once again? Initiatives like Messy Church may only be a drop in the ocean - but small steps go a long way if there are enough. Last time we had the mayhem of tent making, with children and parents getting increasingly involved (and competitive about their tents!)

The Spoon Theory

It is hard to explain what it is like living with illness, especially when you often look so normal (well many friends may disagree on this one ;) ) This lady who has lupus has produced what is called 'The Spoon Theory' which conveys as well as anything can a little of what it can be like. For me, some days I start with very few 'spoons' and others have quite a lot, but there is always a limit, and once they're gone that's me done that day (you'll really have to read the link for any of this to make any sense!)

Days where my spoons are few (!) taking Adventure Girl and Boy to school may use them up entirely, and sometimes there are not even enough for that, and Adventure Bloke steps in and takes over, as he always does so gracefully. Has done today, in fact, as I assessed this morning that my spoon number may be somewhat low today.

I hope that goes some way towards explaining what it can be like?

Good Enough

One of the difficulties that I sometimes struggle with having chronic illness is perceiving myself as less than a good mum. Society is full of messages and images that tell you what a good mum should look like: Organised, time-management-sorted, creative, beautiful, healthy. Baking with the delightful children, doing things with glitter, playing educational games, taking them to educational and fun places, talking deeply with them every night after bedtime stories and taking them to all manner of after school activities. And then there's overseeing the spiritual, emotional and physical development and wellbeing. And this is only by Monday.
Now, I am sure there are mums out there who manage this on a regular basis. But the rest of us are only human, and do such things when we can, but often as not the mere thought of glitter has us shoving the TV remote at the darling children. Adventure Girl loves crafty stuff and has a near daily cry of 'mum, can we get the clay/glue/paint/glitter/sequins/moonsand/insert random messy craft material stuff out?' And me, being of only small energy, generally says in a weary tone 'another time' or 'ask daddy'. Adventure Boy, thankfully, is of much more a technological mindset and a day spent on Club Penguin would be his ideal. No mess to clear up there (well apart from the 'Puffle food' which seems to be large sheets of paper ripped up into - well, small ones, which are then liberally distributed round the house for the puffles to eat - but that's another story.)
And of course, this computer use only brings into play the 'screen time' guilt. Has Adventure Boy spent too much time on the computer today? Probably. So I try and restrict it and have screen time rules. Sometimes.
All in all, I'm not always the most consistent and organised of mothers, and don't sit and play with the adventurous pair after school every day.
So imagine my relief when coming across Good Enough Mother. With the first lines of the description of this book going like this:
For every woman who's passed off store-bought cakes as her own at the school bake sale comes an honest look at motherhood.
In an ideal world, mothers would have time to hand-sew their kids' costumes for the school play, prepare all-organic meals, and volunteer in the classroom at the drop of a hat. In reality, most moms have to settle for plopping their little ones in front of SpongeBob so that they can prepare yet another chicken nugget-based dinner, guiltily convinced they're falling down on the job.
Yes! Finally, an admission that life is like this. And actually, that that can be Good Enough. Parenting is not only about the amount of stuff we can do with our children. It's so much more than that. Being a loving mum is about doing just that; loving. Children won't necessarily remember all the visits to worthy museums so much as the ethos of love and fun in their family. If I can give my adventurous ones something of this in their lives then I am good enough. Yay!!

Beginning of the Adventure

So, for a while now I've been thinking that I should blog. Not sure yet where this is going to go but we will see where it takes us. I've entitled this blog 'GreatAdventure' because I've been reflecting lately how life is an adventure, and Helen Keller's statement above captures this. For me, life is an adventure because I am journeying with God and everywhere that takes me. It's certainly not a nice tidy adventure with endings that tie up concisely where the villains always get sorted out and the heroes always prevail, but it's an exciting adventure that more than anything is full of hope.

I've only added one blog to my list so far because it's something on my mind a lot at the moment. Take a look at the 'One Month Before Heartbreak' blog and have a browse. For many, living with disability and chronic illness can be an incredibly lonely life, and proposed government cuts rightly or wrongly are causing many to fear for their future. I long to see a fair and just society where the vulnerable are upheld, cared for and included, and wonder how we can all play our part in causing this to happen, or at least to get on the right road towards it.